It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
