i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
