I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
