Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Houston, we have a squirter
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
