Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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