i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this will be a night to untag.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize