she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
