batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
