I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
