omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
