So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize