He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
