omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
