Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
