I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
