bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
