This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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