A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
