I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
