so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
