Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
