There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
