Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
