dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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