if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
