Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
