I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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