just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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