Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
