I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
