You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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