If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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