she was so not down for the gang bang
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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