Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
