i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
