i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
