hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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