drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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