ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Randomize
