Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
