i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He passed out mid-signature
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
