porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
