thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
