My hair reeks of homosexuality.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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