Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
