Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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