I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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