You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
