Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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