He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
