Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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