tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
