My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
