I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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