God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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