i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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