my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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