I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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