i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
