R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
