So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
