I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
