somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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